That’s Right, I’m Famous Now.
I started this blog as a way to communicate with my family and close friends when I traveled to Germany for an exchange in my sophomore year of high school. For those who have been following me on my journeys, you would know that I am pretty much the funniest person ever to write on Blogger and that I travel way too much. Never would I have guessed that I would be detailing my summer after being in a local newspaper (four times, I was on the front cover twice), appearing on national television (twice), going to Denver and New York, and meeting, yes, Jennifer Lopez. How did all of this happen? Let me recount to you the story from my 100% unbiased point-of-view.
Abuse of Power
Before I get to the juicy parts that the press ate up and readily publicized, you must know that there was a lot of build-up to graduation that started on day one of Freshman Year. Always the rebellious kid, I knew that Lutheran High’s dress code would not suit my personality and would add to my feeling of being trapped while coming to terms with being gay. I had my first run-ins with the administration when I would choose to wear non-offensive printed shirts (which are banned) that had simple brand logos like Aeropostale (yes, I wore Aeropostale in a past life, but I am a changed person now, so back off). I would also wear shorts on designated “jeans days” and be forced to go home to change. Why not simply follow the dress code you ask? I was always hesitant to follow the dress code because what I wear affects my sense of self and it is not healthy to force children to fit a mold and to not explore who they are at a time in their life when they should be encouraged to try new things. Throughout my high school career, I submitted multiple dress code proposals to the administration and requested to speak with the Board of Directors, but was denied. I would later find out that this denial to speak with the Board of Directors is illegal and actually may cause Lutheran to lose School Choice if they do not change their ways, but I’ll get to that in a minute.
Anyways, Lutheran High’s overall intolerance towards non-LCMS Lutherans caused controversy in theology classes and left many members of the student body feeling disenfranchised. I would eventually come to mature beyond identifying so closely with my beliefs, but to a young high schooler, being attacked simply for disagreeing is traumatizing. I speak of Lutheran’s intolerance of other Christian denominations because it is a prime example of how they do not just discriminate against people like me, they regularly go out of their way to make many members of the student body feel backed into a corner.
Another time when I butted heads with the administration was in my Junior year of high school when I tried to join dance team. Although I was not overly passionate about participating in dance, I saw it as a way to get to know my classmates better and to do something that was never done before in order to blaze a trail for people less bold than me. Before showing up to the first practice, I had asked the coach if it would be okay for me, a boy, to join the dance team. She said yes, of course, and that she would be more than happy to foster inclusivity at LHS. However, the principal, Al Holzheimer, showed up to the first dance practice to tell me that I would not be allowed to participate on the LHS dance team. When I asked for a reason as to why, I was not provided with one other than, “That’s just not the way we do it here.” It is also important to note that the administrators, Paul Gnan and Al Holzheimer, both watch the dance team’s performances with a little bit too much intent if you know what I mean. Since they did not provide me with any logic or reasoning, the only explanation that I have for not being allowed to do dance is that I would have ruined their fantasy of an all-girls dance team. Well, that and their deep-seated belief in the necessity of gender roles. But I guess we’ll never know for sure since they are incapable of finding even half-way rational reasons to justify their prejudices.
I could go on about how the administrators and staff at LHS consistently attempt to justify their prejudice through their interpretation of the Bible. But I would encourage you to ask any non-Lutheran LHS student for yourself to see that I am not the only one who has been subject to cult-like isolation and intolerance.
The Juicy Part
As you are probably thinking, I was waiting for just the right opportunity to speak up for the cornered students at LHS. I should also mention that I made it my goal Freshman Year to be number one in my class no matter how hard I would have to work. I made this my goal because I knew that I would be another voiceless shadow if I did not set myself apart in some way. As such, I worked hard, took as many advanced courses as I could, and made it to the top of the hill so that I could finally give an address to the school at graduation.
Yes, I planned to come out in my speech. It was important for me to be able to share my story about what it was like to be a gay student at LHS and how I have grown as a person because of it. However, the executive administrator, Paul Gnan, called me to his office on the Monday of graduation to tell me that he was “concerned” about me giving a speech because of my “track record”. Mind you, I was the valedictorian. I also happened to be an Eagle Scout, an exchange student (read the rest of my blog XD), and the captain of the Forensics Team.
Being the good student that I am, I had already written a rough draft on the Sunday before I was called to Paul Gnan’s office. He had given me the deadline of Wednesday to submit a copy of my speech so that we could discuss it and make any changes necessary. I submitted the speech on Monday night. It was not until Wednesday morning that I was called to his office to find out that I would not be allowed to give a speech at graduation because they did not trust me to say what I had written in front of me, no matter if we worked together to write a speech to their standards. Of course I was willing to take out the one paragraph where I talked about my experience as a gay student at LHS, I simply wanted my message to at least reach the administrators who made my high school experience so miserable.
That Wednesday, after school, my mom and I sat with Paul Gnan and Al Holzheimer to reason with them as to why I was not being allowed to give a speech. It was in this moment that I decided to record the conversation. I, and other LHS students, have been subject to their harassment for routine matters and I wanted to document it so that there would be proof that they are, in fact, terrible people. In the recording, the administration treats me and my mom the same way that they have treated countless other families who have tried to reason with them. They argue in circles and give no option other than to leave so that they can claim that they were “walked out on” when really they are backing people into corners and using intimidation techniques found only in Iraqi prisons. Classy. Towards the end of the “conversation”, I threatened to expose the administration to The Sheboygan Press if they did not provide one good reason that I couldn’t give a speech. They could not, of course, and I met with The Sheboygan Press the day before graduation that following Thursday.
It was at this point that my parents stopped supporting me because they did not want me to speak up about my situation. Being of a very conservative sect of Christianity, they do not support me for being gay and they did not want me to be known for it because they think that it is inherently bad, which I understand because I thought that once too. I am sure that they will eventually come around.
Anyways, graduation went as planned (without the valedictory speech), and it was difficult to think about anything other than the article being published the following week. Looking back, I wish that I had stared Mr. Gnan directly in the eye when I shook his hand and said something edgy like “watch out” or “I’m coming for you”, but I really just wanted to get across the stage and never set foot on LHS soil again. It had been a long four years. The following Thursday, about a week after graduation, the article was published in The Sheboygan Press with me on the FRONT COVER looking very disgusted. I love that picture. From there, I learned very quickly why celebrities hate media people so much.
Read about me in The Sheboygan Press here, here, here, and here
Yes, It’s Illegal
Again, being such a good student, I made sure to do my research so that I could also expose Lutheran High’s illegal use of tax dollars through the School Choice Program. For those who do not know, Wisconsin School Choice allows for tax dollars to be allocated to private schools to supplement the tuition costs of designated students. As such, schools that participate in the program must follow certain guidelines. Lutheran high has broken three of these guidelines (one of which is a bit petty). The first major violation is the school’s refusal to let students speak with the board of directors. When I submitted my second dress code proposal, I requested to present it to the board of directors and was denied because that was a service that “LHS does not provide”.
The second major infraction is the school’s Theology requirement. Within the School Choice Program, schools are not allowed to require participating students to take theology if they have written permission from their parents. This is not something that was stated in the LHS Student Handbook at the time, nor is it a practice that has ever been enforced. In fact, the administration has threatened to expel students for wanting to not take theology classes (I call them republican reeducation classes), attend chapel, or participate in any other religious ceremonies. This abuse of tax dollars will either cause Lutheran to lose significant funding or force them to change their approach to education.
The third, and most petty, of infractions is the clause about anything posing a threat to the health or safety of students. I don’t know how else to say this, but the school is really fucking cold. Students (myself included) would bring blankets and winter coats to class just to keep their fingers from numbing to the point of not being able to write or type. Being two obese men, the administration probably thinks that the temperature is just right, although the student body would beg to differ.
The reason for which I find it important to direct as much attention as possible towards School Choice is that I believe that making noise and making change are two very different things. I would also encourage you to write your state representative and senators, asking them to add Title IX to School Choice to prevent further discrimination with tax dollars. I could have easily complained to The Sheboygan Press about not being allowed to give a speech, but that would have directed all of the attention towards myself and not towards making a difference. So don’t feel bad for me, be excited that someone cares about making a difference and leaving behind a better, more tolerant school.
Tammy Baldwin, Tony Evers, Trip to Madison
The weekend after the Sheboygan Press article was published, I almost went insane. That Saturday, I happened to be working a double shift and was contacted by four local TV news networks. During my break, I arranged to speak with WISN12 at a park near my job. Though the people with whom I spoke were relatively nice, they had the attitude of publishing a story for themselves without any real meaning. At this point, I decided not to speak to any other of the local TV stations because I 1) did not have the time and 2) did not want to play someone else’s game. I also did not see the platform of local TV as being the best way to make my story heard.
That same Saturday, during my break, Senator Tammy Baldwin gave me a phone call. She didn’t really have anything to say other than that she appreciated my hard work in high school and ability to take a stand. But you already know I had a thing or two to say to her. First, I told her about my concerns with the Wisconsin School Choice Program and asked her if she had any resources for me, which she said she would put me in contact with. Second, I recommended that she propose a nation-wide ban on conversion therapy to protect people like me from their potentially emotionally abusive parents. The next Monday, I received a call from Governor Evers who also wanted to congratulate me for speaking up. I made sure to also tell him about Lutheran’s abuse of the School Choice program which concerned him enough to put me in contact with the Department of Public Instruction.
About a week later, on June 13, I found myself on a trip to Madison, the Wisconsin state capitol, to meet with Scott Jones, the Chief of Staff of the DPI, and Carolyn Taylor, the State Superintendent. The purpose of the meeting with Mr. Jones was to discuss the School Choice policy as it is written and to communicate exactly how Lutheran has broken specific clauses. Though the DPI is not able to change the policies, they are able to enforce them as written and potentially remove Lutheran from School Choice. He was also able to inform me as to how I can go about recommending an anti-discrimination clause be added to School Choice.
Mr. Jones encouraged me to contact my conservative state representatives first and then move on to other, more liberal municipalities when they most likely ignore my requests. I have not gotten around to it yet, but I plan to contact Senator Devin LeMahieu and Representative Terry Katsma about both adding an anti-discrimination clause and banning conversion therapy in Wisconsin.
WISN, BuzzFeed, TODAY Show, Time Magazine (and others)
As previously mentioned, WISN12 was the first of many media outlets to contact me about making my story heard. At this point, I found it important to discern between which outlets would be the best to make my story heard and which ones would be a waste of my time. I chose to speak to WISN because I was curious about how they would frame my story, how they would phrase the headlines, and how the reporter would treat me. I was interviewed by Caroline Reinwald the Saturday after the story came out in between shifts at work (I worked 12 hours that day). The segment aired that night on the ten o’clock news. Not being a fan of TV news in the first place, I did not like the way my story was edited or the attitude with which the reporter treated me. It is hard to understand why people dislike interacting with the media until one has actually had to deal with it themself, but this first experience showed me how I would have to play the game moving forward. I learned that media people think they are giving you something when really all they want to do is take from you and use you to better their own career or network. From this point on, I decided that I would be the one using the media and that I would not let myself be used.
Watch the WISN interview here
As such, I declined to be interviewed by TMJ4, CBS58, and FOX6. Not to mention that I had almost no time in between my job, grad parties, and getting ready for college. Nonetheless, the requests via Messenger continued to roll in and I had to decide who would best present my story. Two days later (Monday, June 3), I took a call with Julia Reinstein from BuzzFeed to further publicize my story. The article she wrote gives a more personal look into the situation and is very accurate according to what we discussed. I also found the phone call somewhat funny because I knew that I was on speakerphone when I heard people gasp when I said that I made a recording. Though I realize that BuzzFeed is not real news, I appreciated that they did not press for details that I did not want to give. In other words, they respected my privacy and did not sensationalize my story.
Read the story on BuzzFeed here
Just before the story went live on BuzzFeed, I was contacted by the TODAY Show and arranged to be interviewed by Alex Ficquette at Milwaukee Pridefest on Friday, June 7. I will get to my experience at Pridefest in a minute, but working with the TODAY people was pretty much the same as WISN. The only difference this time was that I was going to be on national news and people were flying in from New York and Chicago to meet me. By this point, I was getting pretty sick of telling the same story over and over again, but I knew that it would not be the last time. As for the actual interview, I was not in the right mindset to be reflecting upon graduation because I was getting ready to give a speech. As such, I do not think the interview with the TODAY Show is the best place to hear my story.
Watch the TODAY Show interview here
Read the article on NBC here
The next day, Saturday, June 8, I spoke with Jasmine Aguilera from Time Magazine because she was writing a story about the continued censorship of high school graduation speeches across the country. I’m sure there is good reason to censor some speeches, so I do not necessarily believe that this is a new phenomenon like she makes it sound. I nonetheless was excited to be talked about in one of my favorite magazines and seized the opportunity.
Read the article in Time Magazine here
Outside of the previously mentioned networks and written press, I did not speak to anyone else. As such, the articles published by LGBTQ Nation, Pink News, Newsweek, Huffington Post, The New York Post, and Yahoo News are not original sources and could contain false information, sensationalization, or misrepresentation.
Throughout all of this, my friends helped me to set up a GoFundMe page to help pay for my tuition. It’s funny how all of the media people who I talked to acted like they wanted to help me, but when I gave them the actual opportunity to make a difference in my life by promoting my GoFundMe page, they ignored it. As such, I plan to graduate with a minimum of $50,000 in debt from my undergraduate studies at Northeastern, even after the financial aid and scholarships that I have worked hard to obtain. I could speak here about the nepotism and fraud that the Kohler Foundation Scholarship enables, but that’s a story for another day. Regardless, I still have not lost hope of graduating without debt and I will hopefully find part-time employment in Boston and I will continue to apply for scholarships.
You can help pay for my tuition here :)
Milwaukee PrideFest
As I previously mentioned, I was offered 4 VIP tickets to Milwaukee Pridefest which started on Friday, June 7. I was also offered the opportunity to accept the Valor Award and give a speech at the opening ceremony, which I gladly took. Of course, my unsupportive parents did not let me drive myself to the festival, so I had to find some friends to share my tickets with. Once we arrived, I met up with the people from the TODAY Show who filmed the interview and also the speech that I had written for the ceremony. Let me just say that I somehow managed to write a 6-minute speech in between shifts at work, talking with press people, and getting college stuff out of the way. So even if the speech isn’t as dramatic and prepared as I would have liked it to be, it was a feat that I was able to get it ready in just three days.
After giving the speech, Chris Abele, the Milwaukee County Executive, announced that the LGBTQ Victory Fund would be sending me to World Pride in New York City. Though I may not entirely agree with the existence of political action committees (PACs), I was overwhelmed by the opportunity and eagerly accepted the invitation. For context, Victory Fund supports the election of LGBTQ persons in local, state, and national elections to increase representation of the LGBTQ minority. I believe that Mr. Abele saw potential in me to work within government one day and to continue to fight for change on an even bigger scale. Though I do have a gift for public speaking, I do not think that I could become passionate about civil rights full-time nor would I want to. I see the strong LGBTQ people that have come before me, who have fought for the rights that I now get to enjoy, and am inspired by their courage to speak up and commit themselves to fighting for change.
Though the United States may still have a ways to go when it comes to guaranteeing rights to minority communities, our diversity will continue to push us to the forefront of social issues. For example, I have faith that conversion “therapy” for minors will be banned whether or not I choose to commit my life to eradicating it. The best I can do is share my story and give others hope who may be experiencing situations like mine. To those who feel trapped, do not hate the people that make you feel put into a box, but show them the tolerance, acceptance, and love that they never showed you. You are better than them. You are stronger than them. And you don’t need their validation to be free.
Watch my speech at Pridefest here
Denver and The Daily Blast
Three days after Milwaukee Pridefest, I found myself on an airplane to be interviewed live on Daily Blast Live (DBL) in Denver, CO. Of course, I had to have a friend from my church take me to the airport since my parents were unwilling to support any publicity. DBL contacted me via Messenger the previous Monday on June 3 just after I had been in the Sheboygan Press and on WISN12. So the next Monday, on June 10, I was off to Denver to be on national TV.
The overall experience was a bit stressful as I had to be interviewed three different times during the day since the show is broadcasted live. Below, I have included what I think is the best interview in which I went over the most information to inform people about my story and where I chose to direct the attention of the viewers. However, my crazy 20 hours in Denver gave me insight as to what it is like to work in TV. It was interesting to observe the casual atmosphere of the studio and to interact with the opinionated reporters off-camera. I was also able to learn a bit about how the show has taken an alternative approach to reporting by letting people react in real-time with the reporters to make the stories more relevant. The coolest part of the experience was noticing the potential that the platform of the show has. If you ask me, DBL has a deficient marketing capacity and must either put its show on more platforms or create a unique platform to make it more accessible to viewers.
Nonetheless, you can watch my interview on DBL here
New York
After a few weeks of trying to keep track of everything that was happening, the trip to New York officially went underway on Wednesday, June 26. Let me say that it was surreal to be traveling to the place where the gay rights movement started on a paid trip, with two friends, just to celebrate Pride.
I did have to make a few appearances, however, at events where I got to mingle with influential supporters of Victory Fund. The first event was that Wednesday night at a private dinner club where there was a reception with members on the Victory Institute’s Board of Directors. I was a bit awkward at first, but as I got to talking to people, I began to realize the importance of having elected officials who are LGBTQ. I was also inspired by the successful LGBTQ people who are a part of the Victory Institute because I could see myself in their shoes one day. At the same time, my eschewal of a political career was solidified because I saw that changemakers don’t have to be on the front line. I saw powerful gay women and men that had made for themselves successful careers that not 20 years ago would have been impossible. In other words, I don’t have to spend my life fighting for human rights because others have already made the sacrifice. I get to enjoy the luxury of choosing what path to take because of groups like the Victory Institute.
On Thursday, Danika put on her “Tiffany’s Outfit” and the three of us went shopping. Even stingy Klohie dropped a few hundo on a vintage 20s dress. I, for one, did my research beforehand and came prepared to order a new pair of glasses from a boutique I found.
Riding the subway in New York proved to be a hassle at first, but the friendly New Yorkers were always happy to help us out when we asked nicely. It was also funny when we found ourselves always saying “sorry” and “excuse me” when we bumped into strangers because it instantly identified us as tourists who are obviously not from New York. I did appreciate, however, the fact that people never failed to be surprised when we said that we were from Wisconsin. If I had to describe each of our styles, mine would be straight european, Klohie would be grunge socal hipster, and Danika would be good but bad city queen. In other words, we look too cool to be from Wisconsin.
That evening, the three of us were running late and didn’t have time to go back to the hotel to change for the Pride Reception at Google. Nonetheless, we had an astounding view from the 11th floor of the Chelsea location and got to watch the sun set over the Hudson. The event itself was very crowded, but it was still cool to hear more about the impact that the Victory Institute has had in training politicians and getting them elected.
On Friday, we visited the 9/11 Memorial Museum like good Americans and chilled on the Staten Island Ferry. It was ironic to notice Americans be annoyed by loud foreigners because it is normally Americans that are making all the noise when I am abroad. In the afternoon, we attended the wrong event in the LGBT Community Center, but it was nonetheless meaningful to hear the stories from older people who were actually at Stonewall. Then we made our way to Brooklyn to attend a Pete Buttigieg rally. Though I strongly believe that the next president must be a woman, I learned that Pete Buttigieg is very intelligent, even if he is a man.
On Saturday we attended the Book of Mormon from center fourth-row seats. It was hands down the best show I have ever seen and I could not stop laughing. It was definitely my favorite experience within the whole New York trip and it’s something that I will probably not get to do until I am financially enabled (so it may be a while). We spent the rest of the day exploring, window shopping, and acting like New Yorkers.
Sunday was another exploring and shopping day and then at night was the Pride Parade. The Victory Institute float was supposed to leave at around 6:30 p.m. but hadn’t left by 9:30. Since Klohie and Danika were tired and their feet hurt, we decided to give up and go back to the hotel. I was a bit pissed at them for taking away my opportunity to march in the parade, but I knew that this opportunity would not be the last. I also kind of wanted to go to bed and pack before our early flight in the morning.
Overall the trip was a priceless experience. Danika, especially, got to get out of the midwest and experience something that she otherwise never would have been able to. For me, the coolest part about being in New York during Pride was seeing all of the gay couples. I remember being on the subway and almost crying while watching two dads play with their daughter. In New York, it felt like I was normal. Though it may be a while before I get the chance to live in the big city, I was inspired to openly live my life no matter where I am.
J-Lo
While we were in New York, Jennifer Lopez’s publicist contacted me about giving me concert tickets. Being the snowflake that I am, I first had to google what Jennifer Lopez was famous for, but Danika, with her Mexican blood, was able to tell me all about her. It also turns out that Danika’s mom is a J-Lo superfan. Along with center second-row seats, we were able to actually meet J-Lo after the concert (it was July 4, the day after we got back from NY). Receiving the meet and greet tickets was when I realized that I was being used for publicity, but hey, if you’re going to give me $8,000 worth of concert tickets, I am glad to take them.
Much like any other media people that I handled, Jennifer Lopez put on a face of support, but could actually have cared less about me. For example, when I mentioned that I am going to graduate with much student debt, her support for me all of a sudden disappeared. Of course I wasn’t surprised, but I was disappointed that I was being used as a piece in someone else’s game.
Boston
Five days later, on July 8, I was on an airplane yet again to go to Boston for orientation. I quickly made friends whom I got to know better as orientation went on. But with everything else going on this summer, it still hasn’t hit me that I will be moving to Boston in less than a month. Even so, I can’t wait for school to start because I’ll finally be able to stay in the same place for more than two weeks.
New York (again)
That’s right, I went to New York twice this summer. This time, however, I was going on a service trip with my church (the one that doesn’t think gay people go to hell) to assist the urban poor. My group (group 3, the best group) helped out at a soup kitchen in the Bronx, a food pantry in Manhattan, a food pantry in Brooklyn, and a soup kitchen in Manhattan.
Even though I got covered in sweat almost every day from the heat, I enjoyed serving people in need. Until this point, my entire summer had been about focusing on myself, and I never really stopped to appreciate what I have. Even if my parents don’t accept me for who I am, I still have a home and supportive siblings. I have the opportunity to receive post-secondary education even if I will be in debt. And I have the luxury of not worrying about where my next meal is going to come from. Giving back to the New York community was fulfilling in a way that nothing else I do this summer could ever be.
Germany
Not long after coming back from New York (again) I left for Germany on July 28th. When I get back in a few weeks, I will write about my time here, but I would like to take a break from my hectic summer and chill out for a bit.
Nat
